To me, the word 'epiphany' or anything attached to it has always come to mind as a state of realization; a frame of mind associated with a previous frame of mind but understood on an elevated level.
According to our syllabus, a religious understanding of the term stresses the sudden manifestation of a divine being, while it exists within a literary context as the sudden showing forth of the essential nature of something through aesthetic means. Have I ever had an epiphany? I cannot be sure. I have certainly had moments in my life where I believe to understand the essential nature of a person or thing on an elevated level, but I do not believe I have ever had an experience of the 'Divine'. I think my mind is often tricked into believing it is having a Divine experience, especially when listening to music. My brain seems to operate on a different level, real life starts to fade away, and I feel like I am able to understand absolutely everything on an enlightened plane when the right music is playing. I'm sure everyone in the class has felt that way at some point or another. The right song can give anyone the sense of having a significant revelation, right?
Just like song has a profound affect, poetry does the same, which is why I am so thrilled to be starting the class with an Eliot poem. The description in the poem of a lotus rising out of the pool pinpoints where the epiphany occurs, fitting because of the background of the flower itself. The legend of the Lotus flower can be traced back to ancient Egypt. The flower itself was considered sacred because of it's origin, birth, and blossom. The flower grows usually from the depths of muddy swamps and emerges into a beautiful white or pink blossom, the only plant to fruit and flower simultaneously. At night, the flower closes and sinks underwater and rises and opens again at daybreak, believed to be a symbol of the sun, creation, and rebirth. The lotus flower is seemingly a perfect symbol for the religious definition of 'epiphany', or sudden manifestation of the divine.
My own experience with literature has been ongiong ever since I was a child. Starting with 'The Boxcar Children' and poems by Shel Silverstein, I have moved through the works of Ayn Rand and John Steinbeck in High School to William Blake and Harold Bloom in college (along with several artists around and in between). I have actually been pursuing this particular degree for some time now, at one point thinking I wasn't interested in a college education and then coming to the dramatic realization that I didn't know what else I would do without one. Is that an epiphany? I have taken or attempted almost every English class offered at MSU, as well as a few in Dillon, MT and one or two in Missoula (I seem to move around a bit). Taking British Literature II from Kimberly Myers a few years ago was one of the best experiences of my life. She taught me how to view literature in a completely different way and also taught me about beauty of the melancholy poets, for which I feel indebted to her. I felt like I was on an enlightened plane for the entirety of that semester because of Kimberly Myers and her appreciation, respect, and exhiliration for the poets and artists she was introducing us to.
On a break from MSU, I visted a place called Vadar, Washington, and the home of Sharon and Leroy. Leroy was a retired English professor and had this incredible writing studio, a little cottage behind the home he occupied with Sharon. In it, there was a desk with a small lamp and all the essentials for a writer, though incredibly out of date (something I thought was charming). Anyway, above the desk hung a poem by Theodore Roethke and at that point in my life, the words resonated so loudly with me. I felt like I was having an out of body experience being in that atmosphere with those words giving me some sort of direction. Did I experience an epiphany? I can't be sure. In fact, I can't be sure I have ever experienced an actual epiphany in my college career, but I suppose the contents of this class and Dr. Sexson will help me figure that out. This was the poem hanging on the wall in Vadar...it remains one of my favorites.
The Waking by Theodore Roethke
The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment